I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
