Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
