Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
