i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
