How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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