I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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