i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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