i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
