the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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