Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
