It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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