Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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