If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She announced her abortion via fbk
In America we eat man semen.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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