boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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