i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
