Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
