awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
