Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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