People with herpes should wear stickers.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
