just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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