I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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