Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
