it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
