I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
