Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
