he shaved USA in his pubs
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
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