it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize