these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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