when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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