I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
