So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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