i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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