u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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