Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize