Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
