I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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