i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
