Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize