people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
