but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
