My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
