Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
40s are totally the cure
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
