the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
