yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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