do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
