Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Bring me that man meat
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
