There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
