obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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