I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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