So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
