So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
soo... how was my night?
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