Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
