he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
