So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
