Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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