Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
