I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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