Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
