So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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