today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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