Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
