he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
