i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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